Failure – the times I’ve been knocked off my feet – transformed my perspective on how compassion picks us up. And while I lived this experience, it is best encapsulated by my professor’s words: “Be kind to people,” Professor Edna Andrews advised my class. “People think kindness makes you weak, but actually, kindness is the greatest strength. Only weak people cannot be kind to others.”
Kindness is an age-old lesson often neglected in practice. Are students at fault? How does compassion fit into an education system prioritizing success, where thousands compete for the same internships and graduate school spots? Competition, the desire for success, the fear of failure: They can make it difficult to be compassionate.
I came to Duke three years ago unsure where to begin, unable to find my footing on the seemingly wide-open path of opportunity. I was overwhelmed with studying for my exams, yet too scared to ask for help, and confused about how to gain the experience research labs wanted if not given a chance. I applied to and was rejected by Duke Student Government three times – a losing record no longer discouraging but hilarious to me and my friends. But then one day in February, I got a call from my DSG interviewer. I was finally a senator – because another student quit. But did I even belong in this space? She was extending an opportunity she didn’t have to post-recruitment – an act of kindness. So I decided to embrace the failure.
Compassion is the hand that lifts us and reminds us we’re not alone.
During my sophomore spring, I took Organic Chemistry II … and struggled. Professor Jim Parise noticed this and invited me to speak with him. I was embarrassed – maybe I wasn’t cut out for this – but he didn’t care that an exam had gone badly. He cared that I attended class and enjoyed it. Over a year later, I have not forgotten the confidence he instilled in me that I could succeed.
While compassion gets us on our feet, it's our movement day after day, foot in front of foot, that takes us to success. Instead of worrying over test performance, I focused on reaching a depth of material understanding. I spent countless hours urging the concepts penned by my professors to transform into the ink for my train of thought. Grades are just letters on paper, but a passion for acquiring knowledge guides you forever.
Through devoting my time to DSG, I learned what I had wondered. I learned that by connecting with people and fostering community, we remind ourselves of the necessity of compassion. When working on the Blue Devil Bridges program, which connects students with Duke Alumni, I was amazed at how eager students were to speak with alumni who had been in their shoes – and how willing alumni were to give their time to students. It might be the beauty of the sweeping green quads against stone classrooms that originally brought us here, but it’s the people that keep bringing us back.